What does the Bible tell us about family? There are a few handfuls of Bible verses about family throughout the Old and New Testaments.
And there are a few common themes that run through all of them: the importance of humility, of selfless love, of loving God above all else, and just how valuable each and every one of us is in God's eyes.
Honour Your Parents, Provide for Relatives
These Bible verses about family insist on the importance of honouring your parents and caring for relatives.
Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. - Exodus 20:12
Anyone who does not provide for their relatives, and especially for their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever. – 1 Timothy 5:8
‘Honor your father and mother,’ and ‘love your neighbor as yourself.’ – Matthew 19:19
My son, keep your father’s command and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. - Proverbs 6:20
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, but fools despise wisdom and instruction. Listen, my son, to your father's instruction and do not forsake your mother's teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck. - Proverbs 1:7-9
A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish man despises his mother. - Proverbs 15:20
Children, always obey your parents, for this pleases the Lord. - Colossians 3:20
Remember Luke 14:26, though: “If you come to me but will not leave your family, you cannot be my follower. You must love me more than your father, mother, wife, children, brothers, and sisters—even more than your own life!"
While family is important, and you should honour your parents and care for relatives, family should not be the most important thing.
This may a tough thing for us to come to terms with, in a culture that places so much value on family. But it illustrates an important basic principle: nothing should be more important than God in your life.
The early Christians encountered idolatry in the form of other religions (worshiping other gods), but your family can take that place in your life as well. Earthly loves, even the good loves like the love of parents, of children, of spouses, etc., can become demons if they become the most important thing in your life.
Even family relationships will not fulfill you if you are not seeking God above all else.
All of our loves must submit to death if they are to be resurrected and become loves worthy of Heaven.
Lead By Example
We are taught to lead by example, in the Bible, especially when it comes to family.
We are tasked with directing our children onto the right path, and we are told that elders (those who are highly respected and have authority in the church) are to live lives that are "above reproach".
So an elder must be a man whose life is above reproach. He must be faithful to his wife. He must exercise self-control, live wisely, and have a good reputation. He must enjoy having guests in his home, and he must be able to teach. He must not be a heavy drinker or be violent. He must be gentle, not quarrelsome, and not love money. He must manage his own family well, having children who respect and obey him. For if a man cannot manage his own household, how can he take care of God's church? - 1 Timothy 3:2-5
But if you refuse to serve the Lord, then choose today whom you will serve. Would you prefer the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates? Or will it be the gods of the Amorites in whose land you now live? But as for me and my family, we will serve the Lord. - Joshua 24:15
Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it. - Proverbs 22:6
The Family of God
This is perhaps one of my favourite themes that runs throughout the Bible. Some of the best Bible quotes about family tell us that our family is made of not just of our blood relatives, but of our brothers and sisters in Christ.
The church (not just the local building that hosts services on Sunday mornings, but the whole body of Christ spread throughout space and time) is one big family.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!" - Romans 8:15
The Spirit himself testifies with our spirit that we are God’s children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. - Romans 8:16-17
God decided in advance to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ. This is what he wanted to do, and it gave him great pleasure. - Ephesians 1:5
So now you Gentiles are no longer strangers and foreigners. You are citizens along with all of God's holy people. You are members of God's family. - Ephesians 2:19
Pointing to his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother." - Matthew 12:49
Because you are his sons, God sent the Spirit of his Son into our hearts, the Spirit who calls out, “Abba,Father.” So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir. - Galatians 4:6-7
How rich we are, as Christians, who are members of God's family. And how blessed we are to be able to call God "Father".
Husbands and Wives
The traditional understanding of the husband-wife relationship has been one of authority and submission. This is only half of the story, however, in the Bible.
The theme of submission emphasizes humility and putting others before oneself, a good idea for both men and women.
Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. -Genesis 2:24
Wives, submit yourselves to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord. - Colossians 3:18-20
Wives may be asked to submit to their husbands, but remember that Christ also describes himself as the bridegroom of the church. Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the church. And Christ gave His very life for the church (i.e. for all of us).
And so, it seems, both husbands and wives are expected to lay down their very own selves and to love with a selfless love.
And Jesus said to them, "The attendants of the bridegroom cannot mourn as long as the bridegroom is with them, can they? But the days will come when the bridegroom is taken away from them, and then they will fast. - Matthew 19:14
The Value of the Wife and Mother
While Proverbs 31 isn't written specifically for the wife and mother, we do see the value of the woman who raises children and maintains a household in these passages.
A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies. Her husband has full confidence in her and lacks nothing of value. - Proverbs 31: 10-11
She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. - Proverbs 31: 27-29
We shouldn't be surprised that the woman who works tirelessly to keep the littles nourished and to keep the household running is valued above all others in this passage.
After all, as C.S. Lewis once noted, civilizations will fall, books will fade, fortunes and empires will disappear. Only humans beings are eternal. Only the littles (and the bigs) last forever.
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